Congratulations, maid-of-honour! You’ve been distinguished by the bride to be her confidant in the long, grueling process that is wedding planning and beyond.
Take a moment to snap some Instagram stories, get giddy, and gush over your new position. Once the initial rush of excitement and novelty wears off, you’ve got to face the cold, hard facts: you’ve been given a big task, and it won’t be over so fast.
Whether you’re a veteran MoH a la 27 Dresses, or a newbie at the role, the responsibilities are all the same. She who wears the maid-of-honour crown must bear the weight, but don’t get your spirits down just yet!
While the to-do list of the maid-of-honour seems to be endless, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be a fun time for you and the bride-to-be. You have to strike the balance between enjoyable and efficient, and we’re here to show you the ropes.
We’ve broken down a foolproof guide for you to be the hallmark of what a maid-of-honour should be.
The most important thing: be there in every way
Your presence whenever the bride needs help making a decision needs someone to soothe her pre-wedding jitters or to simply just be there with her as she goes to appointments is the most crucial part of your role.
The best part of “being there” for the bride is you get to go through all the fun planning steps with her! From buying dresses to picking out décor, your input will be valuable to the bride.
Don’t forget your ceremonial duties!
Apart from all the wedding planning shenanigans, being a maid-of-honour means that you also have a crucial role to play during the ceremony as well.
The marriage license is the document that needs to be signed after the ceremony in which there need to be two witnesses. Usually, this task is given to the maid-of-honour and the best man.
You’ll be taking on traditional duties as well such as nursing the bouquet for the bride, putting on the veil and rope on the newlyweds, and making sure that the bride’s train is not crumpled and twisted. Not to fret, these are things you’ll go over during the wedding rehearsal anyway!
Keep the bride from turning into a bridezilla
We’ve all heard stories about quiet women turning into bridezillas during wedding planning. It may be due to the stress and the sheer amount of emotional exhaustion, but bouts of frustration are unavoidable.
Small, menial tasks may be too much for the bride to handle at times, especially when they’re all piled up on top of each other. Things that would seem to be solved by simple means suddenly amplify and you’re left with a bride-to-be nearing a meltdown.
This is where your MoH skills come to the rescue! The bride chose you not just because she believes you can handle the pressure, but also because she thinks you’ll make the perfect sidekick to all her wedding adventures.
You have to be a source of comfort for the bride, and we don’t mean that you should only bombard her with comforting words.
Your role as MoH means that you’re one of the best people to know the bride’s wants and needs. It may be something as simple as guiding her through a decision, listening to her vent, or simply giving her a breather from all the stress.
You lead the pack of the bridesmaids
As for MoH, you’re the point person for the wedding entourage.
This is an exciting opportunity as you also get to have a say in some of the most important matters: like the dress! Nobody wants to look back at the photos and crop their faces to shoulder length because of an unflattering outfit. Listen to the bridesmaids and try to please the majority.
Aside from the entourage dress, you’ll need to arrange the details for the pack as well. Will everyone be doing their own hair and make-up? Should a stylist be hired for everyone? How’s the entourage getting from the hotel to the venue?
Make sure all details have been smoothed out so that you wouldn’t be left with bridesmaids scrambling to book an Uber because you didn’t finalize transportation details.
The hen party to put other hen parties to shame is your call
A hen party is the one night that the bride-to-be will have all of the women dears to her in one room. This is a night she’ll be looking forward to before she becomes somebody’s Mrs.
While pop culture portrays hen nights as a wild night of drinking, partying, and chugging enough liquor to drown the city, it’s important to listen to what your bride wants.
Is she someone that prefers something more casual? Is she an adventurous type? Or would she rather have a night indoors with her girl gang?
The point of the hen night is to help the bride-to-be say goodbye to her single days with a bang and not a disappointing sizzle.
There are tons of exciting activities you can cook up for the bride that veer away from the usual. A hen party life drawing can cater to her artistic yet adventurous side, a night of games and drinking indoors for the homebody, etc.
Just keep in mind that the bride shouldn’t be grimacing and wincing through the event. Find something she’ll be comfortable with and push it just enough that it will be a fun, unexpected evening for her as well!
Ask the bride for her wedding photo wish list
This may sound unusual to you, but the bride will thank you endlessly for it.
The photographer they hire for the wedding does not have as much insight as you do on the couple which is why it’s important to brainstorm with the bride (or the couple) with the photos they’ll want.
For example, the photographer may not know that the pair met during a basketball game! It could be a fun idea for the wedding photos to have one of them hold the bouquet like a basketball.
The couple will want their photographs to be as personalized and close to their heart as possible which is why it would be a nice idea for you to sit down and conceptualize these beforehand.
Of course, jot down the non-negotiables such as family photos, photos with friends, and the like. The photographers usually just go by the table numbers when it comes to photos, so it would be a safe bet to have a list ready.
Make sure the bride is refreshed and well-fed at all times
The bride and groom have the busiest schedule out of everyone during the wedding. It would be so easy for them to get swept in a million directions at once and forget to tend to their needs.
You are tasked with checking on the bride and making sure that she has eaten a meal before the long day. Offer her refreshments and make sure that she’s not running on an empty stomach. Some brides prefer not to fill themselves up to fit better into their wedding dress, but you should always make sure that she’s not on the brink of fainting.
An unspoken rule as MoH is that you’re on toilet duty as well. This means that given how poofy, long, or intricate her gown is, she’ll need help getting on the loo and still walking out looking like a princess.
The bride is probably comfortable with you which is why you’ve been chosen as MoH. Toilet duty means that you have to hold her dress up and make sure she doesn’t get it wet.
Nobody ever mentions the heavy lifting task of being an MoH, and we think you deserve an MVP of the night title for all that you do.
Make the night fun for everyone
Crickets are the last thing you’ll want at a reception. If the bride sees that the people aren’t having fun and dancing, it will definitely dampen her spirits and make her feel like the months of preparation were for naught.
Wedding guests tend to initially be shy but if the ice is still as solid as a rock even after the bar has been opened, the MoH will need to come to the rescue.
Break, nay, smash the ice and don’t be shy to bust a move out on the dance floor! Gather all the bridesmaids and groomsmen and encourage everyone to have fun.
When the guests see that the floor is open for as much tomfoolery as they like, they’ll get on dancing too.
Being a maid-of-honour is a huge pressure, but it’s not a 9-to-5 job that you should dread.
Being thegives you the opportunity to become a life-long figure in the newlyweds’ life and will bring you and your friend together to a whole new level of friendship.
Don’t forget to have fun because you’re part of the wedding, too! Just keep our tips in mind and there’s no doubt that you’re well on your way to being the Best MoH Ever.